There are Jews in the world, There are Buddhists, There are Hindus and Mormons and then, There are those that follow Mohammed, But I've never been one of them...
I'm a Roman Catholic, And have been since before I was born, And the one thing they say about Catholics, Is they'll take you as soon as you're warm...
You don't have to be a six-footer, You don't have to have a great brain, You don't have to have any clothes on - You're a Catholic the minute Dad came...
Because...
Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.
Children: Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.
Child: [solo]:Let the heathen spill theirs, On the dusty ground, God shall make them pay for, Each sperm that can't be found.
Children:Every sperm is wanted, Every sperm is good, Every sperm is needed, In your neighbourhood.
Mum: [solo]: Hindu, Taoist, Mormon, Spill theirs just anywhere, But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care.
Men neighbours: [peering out of toilets]Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great,
Women neighbours: [on wall]If a sperm is wasted,
Children: God get quite irate.
Priest: [in church] Every sperm is sacred,
Bride and Groom: Every sperm is good.
Nannies: Every sperm is needed.
Cardinals: [in prams] In your neighbourhood!
Children: Every sperm is useful,Every sperm is fine,
Funeral Cortege: God needs everybody's
First Mourner: Mine!
Lady Mourner: And mine!
Corpse: And mine!
Nun: [solo] Though the pagans spill theirs, O'er mountain, hill and plain,
Various artifacts in a Roman Catholic Souvenir Shop:
God shall strike them down for Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
Everybody: Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is good, Every sperm is needed, In your neighbourhood.
Even more than everybody, including two fire-eaters, a juggler, a clown at a piano and a stilt-walker riding a bicycle: Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.
