My faith in the Creative Writing course (...) has been strengthned considerably by a very good response to the 'What is it Like to be a Bat?' exercise. I've just looked at the work handed in yesterday, and there are some excellent, if rather ribald, parodies or pastiches. (...)
What is it Like to be a Vampire Bat?
By Irv*ne W*lsh
We goat back to the auld cave aboot the same time, Gamps n me, jist is the sun wis rizin. Scotty wis back already, hangin from the ceiling feelin sorry for hisself. Ah hud goat ma fix from one ay they Highland bullocks that feel like shagpile rugs n legs, n Gamps hud foond a sheep wi its throat torn oot by a fox, the jammy cunt, but Scotty hud goat fuckall. (...)
What is it Like to be a Bat?
By S*lm*n R*shd**
What kind of question is that, sir? With all due respect, what would you say if I asked you, 'What is it like to be a man?' You would undoubtedly reply, 'It all depends on what kind of man.' What race, what colour, what class, what caste, what situation in life? Likewise with bats. We are of many kinds. (...)
What is it Like to be a Blind Bat?
By S*m**l B*ck*tt
Where? When? Why? Squeak. I am in the dark. I am always in the dark. It was not always so. Once there were periods of light, or shades of darkness. Squeak. There would be a faint luminosity from the mouth of the cave. When it faded I knew it would soon be time to leave the cave, with the others, to go flittering throught the dusk. Squeak. Now it is always dark, uniformly dark. Whether at any given moment it is dark outside my head as well as inside, I do not know. All I know, if know is the word, and it is not, is that I can see nothing. I can feel, hear, smell, but not see. Squeak. (...)
